Domestic abuse – what it is and how to get help
Domestic abuse is never your fault. It can happen to anyone, regardless of age, gender, sexuality, culture or background. You are not alone, and help is available.
Domestic abuse is any incident or pattern of controlling, coercive, threatening, degrading or violent behaviour between people aged 16 or over who are, or have been, intimate partners or family members. It is always about one person having power and control over another.
It can include:
emotional or psychological abuse
controlling or coercive behaviour
financial or economic abuse
physical abuse
sexual abuse
digital / online abuse (for example, monitoring your phone or social media)Getting help and support for domestic abuse
You do not have to wait for an emergency situation to find help. If domestic abuse is happening to you, it’s important to tell someone and remember you’re not alone
You can find more help and support for domestic abuse on GOV.UK:
www.gov.uk/domestic-abuseHow your GP practice can help
You can talk to a GP, nurse, midwife or other member of the practice team.
We can:
-listen to you in confidence, as far as -safety and safeguarding allow
-help you think about your safety and any children’s safety
-support you with the physical and emotional effects of abuse
-signpost or refer you to specialist domestic abuse services
If it is not safe to talk at home, you can:
-mention a “personal” or “relationship” problem when booking
-ask to speak to a clinician alone (without your partner or family member present)
-tell us how it is safest to contact you (for example, no voicemail, only text, or only at certain times)
Other ways to get support
Women can call the Freephone National Domestic Abuse Helpline , run by Refuge, on 0808 2000 247 for free at any time, day or night. The staff will offer confidential, non‑judgemental information and support.
Talk to a doctor, health visitor or midwife.
Men can call Respect Men’s Advice Line on 0808 8010 327 (Monday to Friday 10am to 8pm), or use the webchat at www.mensadviceline.org.uk
(Wednesday 10am to 11:30am and 2pm to 4pm) for non‑judgemental information and support.
Men can also call ManKind on 01823 334 244 (Monday to Friday, 10am to 4pm).
If you identify as LGBT+ you can call Galop on 0800 999 5428 for emotional and practical support ( https://galop.org.uk ).
Anyone can call Karma Nirvana on 0800 5999 247 (Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm) for forced marriage and honour‑based abuse.
You can also call 020 7008 0151 to speak to the GOV.UK Forced Marriage Unit .
In an emergency, always call 999.Email support
If you email for support, it is important that you say when and if it is safe to respond, and which email address is safe to use.
Women can email
helpline@womensaid.org.uk. Staff will respond within 5 working days.
Men can email
info@mensadviceline.org.uk (Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm).
LGBT+ people can email
help@galop.org.uk .Further information
Women’s Aid – Survivor’s Handbook
Free online handbook with information on housing, money, helping your children, and your legal rights:
https://www.womensaid.org.uk/the-survivors-handbook/
If you’re worried that you are behaving abusively in your relationship, you can call the free Respect Phoneline on 0808 802 4040 or visit https://respectphoneline.org.uk for confidential help to change your behaviour.
If you decide to leave
The first step in escaping an abusive situation is realising that you’re not alone and it’s not your fault. Before you go, try to get advice from an organisation such as:
Women’s Aid or Refuge – for women
Respect Men’s Advice Line – for men
Galop – for LGBT+ people
If you’re considering leaving, be careful who you tell. It’s important the person abusing you does not know where you’re going.
Women’s Aid has useful information about making a safety plan that applies to both women and men, including advice if you decide to leave:
www.womensaid.org.uk/the-survivors-handbook/making-a-safety-plan/Helping a friend if they’re being abused
If you’re worried a friend is being abused, let them know you’ve noticed something is wrong. They might not be ready to talk, but try to find quiet times when they can talk if they choose to.
If someone confides in you that they’re suffering domestic abuse:
-listen, and take care not to blame them
-acknowledge it takes strength to talk about experiencing abuse
-give them time to talk, but do not push them if they do not want to
acknowledge they’re in a frightening and difficult situation
-tell them nobody deserves to be threatened or beaten, despite what the abuser has said
-support them as a friend, encourage them to express their feelings, and allow them to make their own decisions
-do not tell them to leave the relationship or leave home if they’re not ready – that is their decision
-ask if they have suffered physical harm and, if they have, offer to go with them to a hospital or GP
-help them report the assault to the police if they choose to
Signs of domestic violence and abuse
There are different kinds of abuse, but it’s always about having power and control over you. If you answer “yes” to any of the questions below, you might be in an abusive relationship or experiencing domestic abuse.
Emotional abuse
Does your partner or someone you live with ever:
belittle you, or put you down?
blame you for the abuse or arguments?
deny that abuse is happening, or downplay it?
isolate you from your family and friends?
stop you going to college or work?
make unreasonable demands for your attention?
accuse you of flirting or having affairs?
tell you what to wear, who to see, where to go, and what to think?
control your money, or not give you enough to buy food or other essentials?
monitor your social media, share photos or videos of you without your consent, or use GPS locators to know where you are?
Threats and intimidation
Does your partner or someone you live with ever:
threaten to hurt or kill you?
destroy things that belong to you?
stand over you or invade your personal space?
threaten to kill themselves or the children?
read your emails, texts or letters?
harass or follow you?
Physical abuse
Does your partner or someone you live with ever:
slap, hit or punch you?
push or shove you?
bite or kick you?
burn you?
choke you or hold you down?
throw things?
Sexual abuse
Sexual abuse can happen to anyone. Does your partner or someone you live with ever:
touch you in a way you do not want to be touched?
make unwanted sexual demands?
hurt you during sex?
pressure you to have unsafe sex – for example, not using a condom?
pressure you to have sex?
If anyone has sex with you when you do not want to, this is rape. It is still rape if that person is your partner.
Important questions to ask yourself
Have you ever felt afraid of your partner?
Have you ever changed your behaviour because you’re afraid of what your partner might do?
If you think you may be in an abusive relationship, there are lots of people who can help you. Domestic violence and abuse against women often starts during pregnancy. If the relationship is already abusive, it can get worse. Please tell your midwife, GP or health visitor if you are worried.Sexual assault and Sexual Assault Referral Centres (SARCs)
If you have been raped or sexually assaulted, recently or in the past, you can get help from a Sexual Assault Referral Centre (SARC). You can use a SARC whether or not you choose to report to the police.
SARCs offer:
medical care and emergency contraception
forensic examination (if you want this)
testing for sexually transmitted infections
emotional support and help to access counselling and advocacy
Find your nearest SARC and more information:
https://www.nhs.uk/SARCs
NHS England information on sexual assault and abuse services:
www.england.nhs.uk/commissioning/sexual-assault-and-abuse/
Domestic abuse
Page published: 20 May 2026
Last updated: 20 May 2026